Daily I sit here at the island and stare out this kitchen window at this tree. 
I daydream. Make list of todos. Eat my meal etc. 
Almost Every time someone comes here for the first time they comment on this tree. All the trees. But specifically this one. It stands closest in view. It’s visable from the front, side AND back yard. 
It sits beside two other trees.  
All in a row. But this one gets the most attention. 
“Wow. That tree is huge”. “What a beautiful tree” 
“It’s so majestic…”. Etc. 
Little do people know …these trees were all planted at the same time by Lances great grandfather in the 1930’s. This tree hasn’t been here longer.  
It didn’t get more love. It didn’t get more sun. 
It’s actually two trees grown together as one. 
I often hear (and have even thought when (here comes that joy sucker word) I “compare” my life to others) “I wonder where my life would be had I been given more opportunity. ….more money from my parents. ….more support in my actual talents 
….more more more. 
Here’s the point.  
Maybe this tree looks bigger. (Even if it’s two)
Maybe it cast shade on the fruit bearing tree just east of it.  
Maybe the others have had to lean to stretch out a bit to grow. 
More support and big roots do lend itself to growth and sometimes lots of attention. And someone will always be bigger, have more, look like they have it all together. Don’t compare. Don’t wonder. You are where you need to be. And if you truly aren’t where you need to be. Then do something about it. Anything. 
truth Is….the other trees are oblivious and the orange tree just bears it’s fruit on the side that sees the sun. 
Attention or not. You are still a “tree” 😉.  
Even if you stand by yourself on days that even feel like you are alone…Support can be found in your roots.  
YOUR roots. Your truths. Your “I’m gonna learn from the things I lacked most in my childhood and then do and be that!” (Notice I didn’t say “get that”) 
Or “ I’m gonna learn from the choices I had control over as an adult AND the ones I had no choice in”. 
Want more support? 
Learn to support yourself first then others. It’s less lonely. “Loneliness is sometimes just the lack of ability to connect”. 
Want more sunshine?  
Learn to grow around that which cast shade. No matter who or what that may be. 
Want to feel beautiful?  
Learn to focus on your definition of beauty. Beauty is never physical by the way …unless it’s an act of kindness. 
My greatest fear is leaving this world before I reach my true potential. At this point That’s it. And if you are actively hindering someone around you from reaching theirs….stop it! Please.  ❤️
My kids are grown. Mostly.  
My husband can cook (a little) 🙂
My love for them has been etched in my every choice and I know they will feel that forever. I hope. 
Potential. I don’t think I’ll ever reach it. And maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  
Always growing. Always learning. 
I am grateful for my support in this life. Both spiritual and physical. 
I hope that you have or find what you need to bloom this year. And every year. 
Consider this my “thinking too much ” post for the month. Maybe.